Eddie is such an asshole

June 24, 2005 on 3:22 pm | In Uncategorized | No Comments

quinogaita: you know what really makes me mad?
greatocelot7: GOTTA GO TURN IN MY THESIS . . .tALK TO pAUL
quinogaita: when hitler is used as the maximum expression of evil
quinogaita: what if i started comparing bad people to andrew johnson?
quinogaita: i bet people would think of the trail of tears right away… MY ASS they would, they’d think about the $20 bill
quinogaita: : fucking post-WWII, cold-war fueled, empty American pastiche constructed quasi-sense of decency
quinogaita: : igh
quinogaita: : you little batch of chipmunk scat

A story that really made me mad. Why should he apologize? Because he dared compare our gulag filled with non-white combatants to one filled with white non-combatants. how dare he.

So now I have assumed a new personality. Eddie Branches. Why? Because he is an asshole. And we all know that in life, assholes win. Big-time. A kind ladyfriend was so inspired by my embracing of this truth in life, that she has decided to become ditzy, stupid, and unquestioning. A revolution, in the making? Or is it just: gas?

quinogaita: wait until you meet edward branches, professional asshole
greatocelot7: do it
quinogaita: i am already
greatocelot7: your soul will be forever corrupted
quinogaita: i need to buy some sneakers and unstylish clothing
greatocelot7: your spirit will sink to the bottom of te abyss
quinogaita: you are just jealous cause I am gonna get all the girls
greatocelot7: i know you will

I shall be getting all kindsa messed up this weekend, and we shall be getting all kinds of begetting.

How dare Hershey’s claim to make “chocolate?” I have stepped in horse dung that has higher cocao content.

So, my children. I leave you again. I shall be in Chapel Thrill. Till sun-day. I leave you with this:

when i was in 6th grade, we had this really fat teacher name sister richard who was a nun, and one day she forced the class to make a music video for another fat and mean old lady who was (thanks be to hail holy queen) retiring. we had to all sing “so long, farewell” and do the instrumentals vocally. scarred. scarred for life.

Love– I mean– Hate,

Eddie Branches, Asshole

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